In this crazy discussion, each speech turn contains a semantically deviant or infelicitous utterance. Can you guess what is causing each oddity?

B: Hi Gottlob! In what way are you doing?
G: Yes! What about you, Bertrand?
B: I’m very happy! Yesterday, I came back from a trip to France or Paris.
B: Most of the master students came with me, that is, all of them. It was their first time in Paris.
G: Really? It surprises me, who has ever been to Paris.
B: After that trip, every student stopped hating Paris. Only one student used to hate Paris.
B: We went to a restaurant. We ate a French ratatouille. Then we went to the Louvre museum. It was delicious!
G: Colorless green ratatouilles always sleep deliciously.
B: Some students took a dessert. They ate democracy.
G: Great! And how was the Louvre? Did you learn that fact about the painting Mona Lisa?: It is Lisa Gherardini that Francesco del Giocondo ordered a painting that portrays.
B: I did! This is such a famous piece. If no student took a selfie in front of this painting, it will probably be published online.
G: Here is a fun fact you might have missed, though. Five of the six Da Vinci paintings exhibited in the Louvre are made of oil on a panel. It is made of chalk on paper. Can you guess which one it is?
B: It is not Mona Lisa and it might be Mona Lisa.
G: The solution is: DA VINCI made Portrait of Isabella d’Este with chalk on paper, not someone else.
B: Oh, I didn’t know that. More people like Da Vinci than I do. Do you like art history?
G: I once read a book about gender equality. By the way, where was your hotel?
B: On earth.
G: Nice! But how much did you not pay for all of this?
B: A lot! The university didn’t give every student any money for the trip.
G: At least, in France you may pay in euros or in pounds. So you didn’t pay change fees. Did you take the time to get informed about French politics?
B: I did! It is false that the king of France is bald. And some ministers look authoritarian.
G: Be careful what you say! Any French student might enter this room. He disagrees with you.
B: Right! I will go back to my office and be as mute as a ringing fire alarm. See you!

The answers can be found at https://valentin-d-richard.fr/Misc/illogician.pdf